Dear Patriarchy, I Finally Love You

A Journey from Apathy to Empathy on Father’s Day 2020

I used to think Father’s Day was a bullshit holiday fabricated by greedy greeting card distributors to increase profit margins.

But this Father’s Day is different, because I am different. And as I sit and reflect on what’s present, I realize: my heart breaks for the men in this world.

Breaking is not a bad thing, by the way.

In a world obsessed with novelty and youth, births and beginnings, we view heartbreak as a terrible tragedy — something that “shouldn’t” be happening. But what I’m experiencing is a sacred process. My heart is breaking, yes — but it is also “breaking open” to a wave of emotion that encompasses everything from gut wrenching grief to awe inspiring gratitude. By allowing it to flow through me unobstructed, I am able to see the gifts that come not only from the beauty of this emotion, but also from its pain.

The pain around the masculine is rich, y’all.

Encoded with information about our human lineage and filled with evidence for the way in which our past informs our future. The pain confirms with jaw dropping wonder that the opportunity for a quantum shift in consciousness stands on our doorstep, peering through the curtains while ringing the bell, determined to be seen.

This last year I’ve been initiated into understanding the masculine, through a close study of my husband Benjamin — who has gone through a rapid transformation before my eyes, and blessed me with the privilege of his vulnerability every step along the way by allowing me to document him at various stages along the journey. This gift has allowed me to glean profound insight into the collective consciousness patterns of the “dominant, wealthy male” archetype — an archetype that populates the majority of the “leadership demographic,” and one that I believe must play a crucial role in building a new world, after a dramatic shift in values has taken place.

Benjamin is highly masculine, in the traditional sense of that word.

Upon meeting him, I quickly saw that he is grounded, protective, self-aware, warm, communicative, responsible, dutiful, hard working, unwavering in his commitments, and he has a brilliant business mind, just…